Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 10.0 [Focus.]

Having your haircut is probably one of the most soothing things you can do in the middle of the day for very little money. And I look a lot less skanky too!

Taking pictures of yourself is tricky business, so we have bathroom portraits! The only place in my building with both enough light and mirrors. Woot!

Me looking surprised, or high

Me smiling cheerily

...my neighbor?

My friend and yours Mister Rogers lost his battle with stomach cancer early this morning.

Heavy Metal Karaoke featuring Athens' own metal gods

Knight Seeker

If you don't like Georgia weather, wait around a couple hours, it'll change.

Or you can just transfer to Saddam University.

Yes, that is a real university. Saddam loves to name things after himself.

Is is too interesting that in light of all this we still wonder why the rest of the world hates us.

We are isolationist and consider ourselves all-powerful. Apparently, though, Eastern European political leaders see us as pretty power as well.

Something to think on, yes?

So today I'm on the bus on my way to Bio lab and I absent-mindedly look down at my shoes. Then I remember someone complimenting my Sketchers recently, saying something to the effect of "Those are nice looking shoes; when did you get them?"

Now, I usually remember the people that pay me compliments, so for the next fifteen seconds I'm killing myself trying to remember who that is, when this happened.

Then I remember that I dreamed this little encounter last night.

I can't recall any dreams lately but some imaginary person likes my shoes and that sticks.

Geez.

What we talked about in Religion today:

First, what does "I" mean? Is "I" the body? the soul? your individuality?

We all have a collection of things we would like "I" to be: your name, sex, religion, things you like (books, movies, music), people you like, the things you do each day.

But if any of these things are "I", what does it mean to say, "I am alive."?

"I will die."

Why are we afraid of death? It is suggested that because we each see ourselves as the center of existence, if you died, existence would end. "Confusing one's own ego for life is the root of the fear of death." says Sonam. Liberation from this fear comes when you stop thinking of yourself as the center of all existence. Until then the fear of death (and really, all fears, because they connect back to death, except, for maybe, public speaking) is really fearing the end of existence, of sat.

If you die, you cannot continue to experience the world. But maybe "I" is just a variable: the only thing that changes is the experience.

I am hungry. I am tired. I am happy.

Etcetera.

I could start on what it even means to be afraid, but we'll have to save it.

Everclear, Wonderful

  I close my eyes when it gets too sad
  I think thoughts that I know are bad
  I close my eyes and count to ten
  I hope it's over when I open them

  I want the things that I had before
  Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
  I wish I could count to ten
  And make everything be
  Wonderful again

  I hope my mom and I hope my dad
  Will figure out why they get so mad
  I hear them scream, I hear them fight
  They say bad words that make me want to cry

  I close my eyes when I go to bed
  I dream of angels who make me smile
  I feel better when I hear them say
  Everything will be
  Wonderful someday

    Promises mean everything
    When you're little
    And the world's so big
    I just don't understand how
    You can smile with all those tears in you eyes
    And tell me
    Everything is wonderful now

    Na na na, na na na na na
    Na na na, na na na na na
    Na na, na na na na na
    Na na na na na na na na na
    (please don't tell me everything is wonderful now)

  I go to school and I run and play
  I tell the kids that it's all ok
  I laugh a lot so my friends won't know
  When the bell rings I just don't
  want to go home

  I go to my room and I close my eyes
  I make believe that I have a new life
  I don't believe you when you say
  Everything will be
  wonderful someday

    Promises mean everything
    When you're little
    And the world's so big
    I just don't understand how
    You can smile with all those tears in you eyes
    And tell me
    Everything is wonderful now
    No no

    Na na na, na na na na na
    Na na na, na na na na na
    Na na, na na na na na
    Na na na na na na na na na
    I don't want to hear you tell me
    Everything is wonderful now

  I don't want to hear you say that
  I will understand someday
  No no no no
  No no no no

  I don't want to hear you say
  You both have grown in different ways
  No no no no
  No no no no

  I don't want to meet your friend
  and I don't want to start over again
  I just want my life to be
  The same
  Just like it used to be

  Somedays I hate everything
  I hate everything
  Everyone and everything

    So please don't tell me
    Everything is wonderful now

    Please don't tell me everything is
    Wonderful now

[retrospective, people]

This is so very, very sad.

Shows what a little hysteria can do to a group of otherwise normal people.

Duct tape and plastic, anyone?

Sonam cancelled my only class of the day! Wahoo!

This has been the best week ever. I mean, it had it's less than graceful moments, but nothing could overshadow all the good things that are happening for me right now.

Do I have the best life or what?

Note to anyone going/planning on going to UGA: construction is a constant way of life here. Seems our campus can never be beautiful enough.

For instance, as I type this, whatever the hell they are doing just outside right now is making the computer lab at Memorial Hall vibrate. As in, i can feel the jack hammer coming through the floor. And moving right up through my body to my eardrums. Oy!

All the big projects and yet they still have to cut instruction budgets. Adverse to the idea of a university, no?

Don't get me wrong, I love UGA's fantastic campus and obviously a good deal of work had to be done to get it to be the charming, semi-urban enviroment that it is, but c'mon, they are jack hammering my ass to improve Sanford Stadium!

You can go take this survey and tell me either how great I am or how much I suck. Your choice. Be honest, because I always am.

Plus, its totally anonymous.

Click here and rate me anonymously

I got it.

I got the job.

I am on my way to being a Junior Web Author at the ultra-cool web company known as [redacted].

After receiving the news this morning I walked around with a big stupid grin on my face all day.

It's a great place, with really nice people, right in the center of town, walking distance from class, I have a really cool boss, and everyone uses first names!

The job is just perfect for me. And I for it. Plus, there is a certain amount of validation that comes from being hired by a real company for something you've essentially had as a hobby for the past 6 years.

If I could do cartwheels, I would.

Someone please remind me never to leave voicemails.

I'm just not breezy enough for them. Really!

I fell.

As if I don't have enough body pain from plain ole' stress, I now have a skinned knee, two raw hands, and a bruised ego.

I tripped over evil, evil pavement, lost my balance, then failed to regain it before being pulled down by my bag. Unlike last time this happened (outside of Park Hall, freshman year) people came over to help me, and I managed to get up without crying or feeling like I had just ruined my cool, street-wise exterior.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." The fall stunned me, I think. I was staring at the palms of my hands. They hurt too much to not be cut open. Plus I felt pretty exposed, sitting there on the ground all banged-up, but I faked some sense of composure. "Just a little clumsy."

"Oh no, you see that pavement?" she pointed to the cracked uneven sidewalk where I had just stepped. "All over campus! I do that all the time." she smiled and asked if I needed a hand.

I managed to gather my senses, pull myself up, thank the kind strangers and limp to the nearest bathroom to clean myself up.

The worst thing of all? I ripped a hole in my favorite pair of jeans! I mean, skin heals, but it's impossible these days to find a good pair of blue jeans.

Tonight, after midnight, I witnessed not one but two arm wrestling matches. The man who is still the sexiest drummer in rock and roll owned the second one; we won't talk about the first. I was surrounded by men who planted big wet kisses all over my face. I pretended that I once went to Valdosta State. I talked business. I saw Walt, the hardest-working host there is, save the day more than once. I heard plenty of stories. I laughed, a lot.

Today was a good day. Do you ever just feel recharged, like you can conquer anything? That's how that crowd makes me feel. Unique. Clever. Loved.

Cosmos, do your worst. I'll be right here, waiting.

Ow.

So, I don't know what I did, but when I woke up this morning, my lower back was hurting like a mamma-jamma.

Still is.

Anticipation is worse that just knowing. This is my worldview now.

Could this week get any longer?

Breathe.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I've always thought that even though there is neither a big red "No Talking" sign, nor a stern librarian wearing her hair too tight, in the Reading Room of the library, it is understood that if you plan to have some sort of extended conversation you should leave the room. People are trying to study, dammit.

Well, at least I'm not having vivid confrontation fantasies anymore.

I've spent the better part of the last couple of hours trying to plan out my future. Writing e-mails, reading pages and pages of documentation, checking dates, sifting through things. The planning of college (and really, probably life in general) is almost more work than the actual execution, the act, of college.

Exhausting. Frightening. And a little exciting.

Since this morning I've gone from feeling like a big fish in a small pond to one of many fish in the sea.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, just keep your fingers crossed for me. All will be revealed in time.

There is some kind of irony here.

"You're supposed to get old and stop living. It's the only polite thing to do: just roll over and die." - a 55 year old grey haired teenager.

Also:

"I'll tell you what: I never met a stripper I didn't like."