Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 10.0 [Focus.]

"When I was a child
I spoke as a child
I understood as a child
I thought as a child;
but when I became a man,
I put away childish things."
      - 1 Corinthians 13:11

"When I was a child I spoke as a child
But all I heard was how I should get ahead,
Now growing up it ain't anything but all
This indecision with these debts and doubts
And worries hanging over my head"
      - Todd Snider

It makes me sad, but I am growing up.

True, I have more Homies than anyone in my office, marching in a line across my new desk. True, I have an application to date me which questions rival even the most snarky online dating service (By the way, Will is so in the lead right now). True, I sleep in what essentially is a glorified bunk bed decorated with rope light and stuffed animals.

But I wish so much for time to just slow down a little so I could drink and paint and sleep for days and not have to see anyone or pretend to be happy for everyone. Keeping secrets is exhausting.

6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind

School is now in full swing, so to speak. I've already had to say up way past my bedtime to finish a painting, so I think that pretty much counts as being in the thick of it. I am running on about 4 hours of sleep right now. It should be even less, but I slept too late to make it to my 9 o'clock class. Blast. I like that class a lot too.

Wednesdays are very stressful for me. I have 5 classes in total, including a couple of 2 hour art classes, followed by work. I ate at the Chick-fil-a Express at the Tate Center today, even though I'm still a few days away from be able to really afford it, because the classes before and after my lunch break are right there, and going home and coming back on time is somewhat of a chore, and I didn't have time to pack anything. I decided that I will make it my Wednesday treat from now on, since I can already tell that other than that brief respite Wednesdays are going to be hell on earth. So if anyone cares to join me at about 1:10 on Wednesdays the company will be most welcome.

My art stuff (my art box and giant portfolio bag) is somehow getting heavier and lighter at the same time. Mostly my fingers just hurt a lot, so maybe they are going numb. But I think after a semester of lugging this stuff all over campus, I'll be able to crush small cars with the power of my biceps, so that's a plus.

Things are going really well, and I should be happy. And I really am, mostly. But lately, sometimes I feel like I'm insane. And I think about the cure for the insanity, and the very thought of the cure makes the disease worse. Does that make any sense?

Maybe my Air Force buddy can sort it out for me.

5. Something that you feel will find its own form

I had my first real drawing class this morning. I realized that when you haven't really been doing this art thing for awhile, you forget how much you burn for it, how much you need it to feel like you are all there.

I think I'm gonna really dig this.

4. Be in love with yr life

I feel like a real artist again. I have pencils and charcoal and paper and erasers, and by this time tomorrow I should have brushes and paint and gesso and Bristol board, and it all comes in these neat little packages from the art store around the corner from my apartment.

Ok, so I'm starting to get excited.

3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house

So it's the first day of school again. I am sitting in the brand-spanking-new SLC. Normally I would barely be out of class at this point but that is the beauty of the first day; you go and introduce yourself and pick up some paperwork and then you leave! I've been to one two-hour art class and it lasted 20 minutes.

Mostly low stress. Except all the room numbers in the art building are freaking painted over so instead of walking into 126C I walked into 126B, which is an advanced painting class, and most certainly not Drawing I. Luckily I figured it out for myself when everyone seemed to know each other, bailed and walked next door. Hopefully no one will recognize me later.

There is one male in my class, besides the teacher, who seems nice enough. We got a supplies list, and they have a special Drawing I package at the art store behind my building, and you get 20% off when you buy everything all together. Nice.

Other than that it has been business as usual here at uga. Hopefully the rest of the day will go smoothly. I'll let you know.

{Also, Ben Brown is my freaking hero. He is so damn handy. He has been at my apartment twice this weekend solely for the purpose of doing some lite construction for me. Come visit to check it out. It is quite impressive.}

2. Submissive to everything, open, listening

The boys who have just moved in across the hall are very loud in their comings-and-goings. Last night they kept me up til about 3:45 this morning talking loudly with slurred words, right on the other side of a door in mine and Abie's room. I think Abie was spared most of the yelling and running and doors opening and slamming shut because she falls asleep much faster than I do. Lucky. I need to bring some testosterone infused people over here to intimidate these drunken louts. Maybe I could get Kyle to unleash the fury on their asses. That would be very gratifying.

I have been feeling kinda down about some things lately (as some of you know or at least have guessed—and it's actually branching out a little into crazy moodswings). This is mostly irrelevant for the purposes of these pages, except that if you'd like to make me feel better, go fill out my application to date me. (if you haven't already). It in no way constitutes any obligation to actually date me. I just like to read to the answers.

If you are in Winder, and you come to 106 West, I'll see you tonight!

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy

I'm in the new apartment (and using my roommate Alli's computer, I hope she does not mind to much) and I would post for you pictures of the place, but my computer is currently out of commission. Again.

It's a great place though, with big windows in the living room and secret loft spaces and hardwood floors. But best of all I have the best roommates in the world. They're all fun and soothing to be around and wonderful cooks and artsy and completely neurotic, just like me. I feel right at home here.

Yesterday Alli made English muffin pizzas and we ate while listening to the band the floor below us practice. Loudly. Catie set the face of her Fender amp on the floor and took revenge with a Squire Strat. It was lovely. Catie has mad skillz. Then the three of us walked down to Blue Sky and got hot chocolate (they got coffee), and when we saw a storm that could be coming we walked back up to our place and waited, but I don't think it ever came.

When we got home the band had stopped, so despite there being a bar open and people roaming the street two floors below, here it was quiet. I was feeling quite right with the world until, carrying my computer from the living room to my bedroom, I dropped it when it was just a foot from the ground. I opened it in a panic to inspect, and it seemed all right, and even the speakers, which haven't worked in at least a year and a half, started playing music. I thought all was in okay shape until I tried to run Internet Explorer and my computer became upset because I have bed sectors. Hopefully my dad can make it all right.

Come visit me! I promise you'll enjoy yourself.

There comes a point when you should just get back up and forget the idea of sleep. My schedule is so screwed up, geez.

But today will be a good day. Today I will:

• Go to work.

• Come home.
• Do an excessive amount of laundry at my grandfather's.
• Make a run to Wally World.
• Pack up the last trip of stuff.
• Move out to Athens in a more permanent way.
• Sleep soundly and long.

Wish me luck and drink lots of caffinated beverages on my behalf.