Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 10.0 [Focus.]

I became a work place cliché today—the girl crying in a bathroom stall.

I have become consumed by this completely irrational fear that I'm going to get fired soon. Which is utterly ridiculous, but we are in the middle of performance reviews and its got me totally stressed out.

This whole thing was spurred by getting in trouble this morning for something I screwed up yesterday. So I spent 10 minutes very early this morning sitting in the dark, on the floor, bleary-eyed wondering What am I doing?

Not in reference to crying in the office bathroom but rather, why do I attempt to sabotage myself at every turn?

I need to:

• get to work on time

• concentrate while I'm at work (rather than slacking off)
• show initiative, and that care about doing a good job

I did all that before. I don't understand what's happening to me.

The job is very important to me. How I do at this job is largely how I measure my self-worth. It allows me to hold my head high, because I'm good at it.

Lately it's just been another thing that's there for me to screw up.

I guess I've just gotta put it out of my head. Par-tay this weekend.