Giacometti was once run down by a car, and he recalled falling into a lucid faint, a sudden exhilaration as he realized that at last, something was happening to him.
...
“How are you doing, Jenna?”
“Mostly fine.”
“Only mostly fine?”
“I've just—I've just been bored. So bored—That is, until about three hours ago.”
“Only three hours ago? What is it now, like one am?”
“Well maybe four hours ago.”
“What happened just four hours ago?”
“I got out. Started hanging with people.” I gesture to the table I have briefly vacated to order to bother Matt while he is trying to do homework. “Life suddenly became much more entertaining. I'm more interesting.”
“Well good! I'm glad you're not bored anymore.”
“I'm having the time of my life!”
...
He jumps a rail with noticeable ease and balance. I have no idea what adjective to use suddenly, and I totally pick the wrong one.
“That was very spritely. With a cigarette in your mouth and everything.”
He feigns offense. “Are you calling me small now?”
“No! Geez, I meant it as a compliment!”
He reads the ATM screen outloud, “Transaction complete? What transaction? It didn't give me anything.” He turns to me and smiles. “I have no idea what I just did.” As he puts his card back in and squints at the screen, he insists, “There better be a journal entry out of this.”
“Oh don't worry, there will be. It's funny to me now that I've been worried all week about not having anything to say.”
...
“How do you always look so unfazed?”
“Seriously? I look unfazed?” He looks surprised, grinning. “Wow, I guess I'm doing something right!”
“What I'm saying is, you have the most soothing effect on me. You make me feel so happy, like everything is going to be alright.”
“You have the same effect on me.”
“Are you for real?”
“Totally. Completely soothing.”
“Why do we not hang out more?”
“Good question.”
...
All night I dwell over incomplete conversations and wondering if I'm cool enough. I can't get a reading.
The masochist in me delighted as I stared and thought, I will never be there. Its exactly what I want, and it is out of my reach. I have been compartmentalized already.
Happiness is fantastic, but I would settle for being run over by someone. There is so much I am missing.
...
J: “Me? I answer to no one.”
N: “For shizzie!”
You are reading the life, times, and general musings of Jenna Tollerson. I am an independent web developer living in and around Athens, Georgia, USA. [read more]