Jenna's House of Idiosyncrasies Version 10.0 [Focus.]

Be the "biggest" out of all your friends

I was looking for something else in my Spam folder, and came across this subject line, and incredibly enough (must be the lack of sleep) it got my mental wheels turning. Maybe there is something about relationships between heterosexual men that I don't know about, but I'm trying to think of a situation in which a man would have the opportunity, let alone desire, to confirm that he does in fact have the biggest penis when compared to his entire circle of friends. Even assuming that your entire circle is a rugby team and you spend a lot of locker room time together, I thought there was a general consensus to keep the eyes well above the waist area.

So sincere question, fellas — do you know where you are in the pecking order among all your friends? Yes or no is all I ask for, although you can volunteer more information if it gives you a self esteem boost.

(Not that size is the kind of thing that matters to the ladies, motion of the ocean and all that, but it clearly matters to men.)

Bonus spam break down, this testimonial from the same email:

"At the beginning I decided the specimen package I acquired gratis was an idle jest, until I tried [redacted]. I can not describe depict how highly satisfied I am with the consequences I achieved from using this patch for 6 brief weeks. I will be asking for [redacted] regularly!"
Steve Burbon, Texas

1. It does not make any sense to me that a spam email trying to appeal to a low common dominator would use a phrase like “I decided the specimen package I acquired gratis was an idle jest”
2. While there may be some things about men I do not understand, the one thing I can say with some certainty that a man using any product intended for penis enlargement would not give his first and last name to be published in testimonial for that said product. I mean really.

New, souped-up gmail with an inbox at zero (down from at least 200). Today has been a good day.

When you spend your entire work life in your email, this is something worth celebrating.

In my e-mail, I've just recieved what (to me) is a very transparent trick.

This is strange...can you figure it out?

* There's no trick or surprise.

Haha. Lie #1.

* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something).

I get it. This a followed by a lot of memory hogging blank space.

Think of a number from 1 to 10

7.

Multiply that number by 9

And then we are going to add the digits together and get nine, right? Don't forget what they taught youwhen you were first learning your multiplication tables...Any number 1-10, when multiplied by nine, will have two digits that add up to nine.

Magic!

If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together.

Done.

Now subtract 5

You should all have 4 now.

Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)

Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

No. I have a Cat in the Dominican Republic eating a Tangerine.

I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.

Freaky, huh? Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.

Great. Cause I didn't know I was unusual.

Nope.

More things I dislike: Read More »

Today, the ugly side of the Internet showed itself to me again. I received this e-mail: Read More »